Yes, I had my whizz teeth extracted recently. 80 percent of people need to get these things out of their heads. It is common. I realize my hardships from this ordeal are not unique. Actually it went pretty well considering I’m 29 years old, although eight days after the surgery there is still pain and I’m down to my last hydrocodone. For the record Vicodin is very helpful and addictive, but crushing and snorting them doesn’t get you any more messed-up than popping them, it just burns. I wanted to use the pills as a replacement for alcohol in an attempt to cut-back on the sauce, but I ended up supplementing my pharmie buzz with red wine and gin martinis cut with soda water. I recommend all these combos, in moderation of course. I was successful at accomplishing the feat of losing some pounds due to the lack of solid foods. Did you know that smoothies are delicious?! If you want to treat yourself to healthy flavor explosions, go out and buy fresh and frozen produce, chuck that shit in a blender and blend the hell out of it, drink it. If your concoction isn’t sweet enough for you, mix in some honey, dummy.
Let’s flash back to the day of my oral surgery. I was pretty nervous sitting in the chair waiting for them to start, which is exactly what nitrous oxide is for. The assistant lady (who was super helpful and lovely) asked me if I’d ever been administered nitrous. I said, “Uuuhhhh, recreationally, a long time ago.” She laughed, and gassed me up. It really put me at ease. That stuff works like a charm. Then they injected the general anesthetic and I went out, which was totally trippy dude because, dude-check-it, my drug induced dream went like this: I tried to “help” the surgeon somehow and he’s all like, “stop trying to help me” and I’m all, “fine!” and we had an epic metaphysical fight, then I awoke. I perceived my unconsciousness to last no more than 45 seconds when in reality I was out for about 45 minutes, during which they probably held my head down with their feet and slammed a ball-peen hammer onto a chisel against my skull, so close to my brain.
So instead of taking away from this that I am a druggie, remember this: If you or anyone you talk to still need to get wisdom teeth extracted, GET COMPLETELY KNOCKED OUT because it is a brutal procedure.
